I wrote the following post about a month ago
I never posted it, but I am posting it now along with a revision at the end:
My 34th birthday is in 4 months.
For the past 8 1/2 years I have given a lot of myself, my body, my time & energy to other people.
Mostly to these 4 wonderful people:
And of course I’ve loved every second (almost)!
These 4 amazing people are making it possible for me to get myself back and give myself a great birthday present.
I’m back at the gym with my personal trainer and couldn’t be happier.
It is going to be very hard, but I need to start finding Amber again. She’s here and always has been, but has just been tucked away while other things/people became priorities. I believe I can find her while also continuing to care for others.
I am going to find, or at least attempt to recreate, the physical body from the days of yore (that translates to BEFORE kiddos).
I am going to find what is my passion and work on it. I honestly can’t say right now what MY passion is…..sad.
I’m excited about this journey and it couldn’t happen without the aforementioned family members:
Conner attends 3rd grade all day;
Logan is still a napper (we refer to it as “quiet time”);
Audra also naps at the same time;
Dave’s office 2 minutes away and he is willing to come home for an hour a few days a week while I head off to the gym.
It’s perfect, we are all working together! I love that!
I love that even though it may not be as important to them as it is to me, they are making it possible.
And they are now giving back some of what I’ve given to them.
Does that even make sense? It somehow makes sense to me and I REALLY am looking forward to this time in my life.
So…..this post still applies. somewhat.
I am still working out at the gym which is great for several reasons:
I am working on having killer arms, it gives me a bit more energy, and it is keeping my nausea at bay.
Yip, you heard me……nausea. Constant nausea these days.
Shortly after writing the original post, we got the shock of our lives when we learned we are expecting McNamee baby #4!!!!
Ahhhhh…did I just say #4?
Scary, but perfect at the same time.
I think both Dave and I knew we weren’t done, but I was certainly in NO rush to add to the family. Even though I always felt like there someone missing.
We see this as a blessing from Heavenly Father – I think He knows a bit more about what is good for us than we know!
Our newest member will join the family in early May, or maybe even late April
(my due date is one week later than Conner’s due date was and he came on April 23)!
We really are super excited; the shock has kind of worn off!
So far I am feeling quite fantastic, comparatively speaking, so we are keeping our fingers crossed that it continues.
(currently 12ish weeks)
As scared as I am to have a newborn again and 4 kiddos, I’m excited to grow and learn during this pregnancy, delivery and postpartum.
I think I will still be able to work on finding Amber, it may just be a slower process than originally planned.