{a little ray}

sunshine_3

I had my 12-week appointment with my midwife last week.  It was a rough week.  I really hadn’t felt well at all and was getting sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I like to be go, go, going all the time, so after months of essentially feeling like I have the flu I was ready to be back to normal.  My mom also had a pretty rough week, so I had that worry and stress on top of my own.

As my appointment got closer, I considered re-scheduling.   I didn’t know how I would be feeling at that point and just wasn’t in the mood to get ready and go.  Well, of course I ended up going.  And I am SO grateful for that appointment.  I had lost 3 lbs. since my last appointment so naturally my midwife was concerned.  I told her that in the last 3 weeks I had definitely been sicker than earlier in my pregnancy.  She asked me if something had changed in that time; I told her that my mom had been diagnosed with cancer and I knew I was much more stressed than before and I was sure that had a lot to do with it.  She told me that her dad was diagnosed with cancer at the same time she found out she was pregnant with her youngest.   It is so nice to have someone who understands how I am feeling at this point in my life.  She told me to remember that my little baby is very durable and will be fine (naturally one of my biggest concerns is how all of these emotions are affecting this baby).  She is such a great listening ear.

We were in the room with the ultrasound machine, so she suggested we take a look at the little peanut!  I certainly was not expecting to feel what I did.  As soon as I saw the baby, I teared up.  At almost 13 weeks it now looks like a baby —- cute head, two arms and hands, two legs and feet, etc.  I didn’t realize how badly I needed to see this new spirit.  It was truly a ray of sunshine in what feels like a dark and miserable time.   (FYI – too soon to tell the gender)!  I am too lazy to scan in the pictures, but we have one active, cute baby growing!!

Who knew a routine doctors appointment could be an answer to my prayers?  I feel so blessed right now and am so grateful for these small miracles that appear just when needed.

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4 thoughts on “{a little ray}

  1. Your comments brought tears to my eyes. What a blessing to have a nuturing midwife who knew exactly what you needed. I’d count that as a small miracle, a tender mercy that Our Heavenly Father sent through someone who listened and cared. Hope you are feeling better soon and that things will start to look up for your mom. We love you both.

  2. Please know that you and Kris (and all the family) are in our prayers. We are glad for the little (actually huge) things that give us comfort. This was beautifullly written. We are glad that the little one is developing well. He/she will be a ray of sunshine sent to comfort your whole family. Maybe you should consider Ray/Rae as a middle name!

  3. I keep telling Ambs that she is doing her job: she is gestating. That’s a big job! No need to stress about dinner or other little things. We’re all not starving, but things are definitely different when mom isn’t feeling well. Thank goodness for good friends who have brought us food. Lots of good food. There are good people around us.

  4. When Gerald was at the end of his cancer we found out we where pregnant with Dave. I can not tell you what a blessing he was to us. While we where dealing with the stress of cancer and sickness we saw the joy of new life. You realize how precious life is and how every moment is a gift. You are not alone in this, we are thinking about you and your family often. Good luck.

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